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Ive got a client who has a son in the Army. He is an adoptive son and had an abusive childhood so she is naturally more concerned about him. He is slated to take his first visit to Iraq in a few months and she's noticed he has disconnected from her and the family.
Her concern is that he can be overly aggressive and that the local cadre may not know what to look for. I have assured her that local NCO's and officers are likely pretty used to reading for certain signs but it doesn't help her much.
I have suggested that if he isn't talking to her and that she is concerned about him, she might try contacting the Chaplain and just telling them about the situation. It might help HER to talk to someone closer and it might help HIM if the Chaplain makes an anonymous visit and its kept private.
Anyone been in this territory? Got advice I can give her?
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Ei Temporis Vita Semper Resumo Sese
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| One of my troopies fell well into this catagory... he was an intelligent fellow who recognized he had a hair trigger temper but couldn't prevent it from getting him into trouble. The trick to alleviating the problem was for him to learn how to recognize situations which could lead to an explosion and either remove himself from them all together or if that wasn't possible, to focus the anger and use it to motivate himself to perform better. The former solution worked pretty well in garrison and the latter was great for the field... Not sure it's a good idea to get the chaplain involved if this individual is performing without incident. Could be he's going through the same pre-deployment withdrawel that all of us do... you know, aquiring a strong mission focus. Bringing the padre in on a "what if" can certainly have adverse effect...
"The degenerative and loony should never be denigrated but, rather, thanked. In their absence, the rest of you would be obliged to fill congressional seats... positions naturally unsavory to the sane and honorable." Thorax
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khyros (4/30/2007)
not sure it's a good idea to get the chaplain involved if this individual is performing without incident. Could be he's going through the same pre-deployment withdrawel that all of us do... you know, aquiring a strong mission focus. Bringing the padre in on a "what if" can certainly have adverse effect... I explained to mom that sometimes there is a withdrawl period where there is a lot of training and personal soul searching but mom is a very emotional type. I think cost on him on the personal side could be pretty substantial since they spoke nearly every day until a few months ago. People change in the military and kids grow up, they start realizing that they dont need mom as much as they thought and that its time they gave themselves some distance to test themselves and prove themselves. I get it all.. its just really hard to explain to a mother with this level of connection and emotion. She's concerned because of the changes but also is scared as he has complained about his immediate command staff and he's going to deploy with them. If mom gets a little too upset, she's the type to contact the CoC (she's given me that 'what did the Army do to my son' speech) and try to get answers. If she calls someone appointed above him it could cause more issues for this kid but it would be on a more official level. I am thinking mom might say he's being aggresive and pulling away from family and either his CO brings him in and sends him for a psych eval or at the very least he gets the embarasment of getting told his mom called. I figure if she has to talk to someone it might be better to talk to a Chaplain who might be in a better position to offer her some comfort and IF the matter requires additional attention, a less threatening visit from the Chaplain could be easier and be kept off the official books. I know it seems like overracting but if the kid is having issues and he's internalizing... its better to get it addressed in CONUS than down on the two way rifle range.
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Hard Charger
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I always dread the "Hi I'm PVT Snuffy's mom" calls but I usually find that I can help mom understand what's going on with him more than other people and if need be I can tell him mom called w/o doing it in formation or some such other nonsense that people sometimes pull. I can't speak for his chaplain obviously, but it would almost certainly be better than calling CofC. Sounds like she could be a Rear D nightmare.
"...my religious belief teaches me to feel as safe in battle as in bed. God has fixed the time for my death. I do not concern myself about that, but to be always ready, no matter when it may overtake me." He added, after a pause, looking me full in the face: "That is the way all men should live, and then all would be equally brave" General "Stonewall" Jackson
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skypilot (4/30/2007)
I always dread the "Hi I'm PVT Snuffy's mom" calls but I usually find that I can help mom understand what's going on with him more than other people and if need be I can tell him mom called w/o doing it in formation or some such other nonsense that people sometimes pull. I can't speak for his chaplain obviously, but it would almost certainly be better than calling CofC. Sounds like she could be a Rear D nightmare.Yes Sir... she's very emotional, very attached to her children and very persistant. I have to deal with her for business and since she has this one in the Army she talks to me about it. She has another in the Navy in Guam but this one has a troubled past so everything makes her nervous. I dont relish the idea of a Chaplain having to take time away from troops but as you said, its a whole lot better than calling the CoC.
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Regular Joe
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Rigger82 (4/30/2007)
Ive got a client who has a son in the Army. He is an adoptive son and had an abusive childhood so she is naturally more concerned about him. He is slated to take his first visit to Iraq in a few months and she's noticed he has disconnected from her and the family.
Her concern is that he can be overly aggressive and that the local cadre may not know what to look for. I have assured her that local NCO's and officers are likely pretty used to reading for certain signs but it doesn't help her much.
I have suggested that if he isn't talking to her and that she is concerned about him, she might try contacting the Chaplain and just telling them about the situation. It might help HER to talk to someone closer and it might help HIM if the Chaplain makes an anonymous visit and its kept private.
Anyone been in this territory? Got advice I can give her?Do you know if this lady or her sons are/profess to be Christians? That impacts the prayer equation.
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http://mypeoplepc.com/members/dcartwright/CMF_FortCarson/
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Site Owner/Operator
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Born4Battle (5/1/2007)
Rigger82 (4/30/2007)
Ive got a client who has a son in the Army. He is an adoptive son and had an abusive childhood so she is naturally more concerned about him. He is slated to take his first visit to Iraq in a few months and she's noticed he has disconnected from her and the family.
Her concern is that he can be overly aggressive and that the local cadre may not know what to look for. I have assured her that local NCO's and officers are likely pretty used to reading for certain signs but it doesn't help her much.
I have suggested that if he isn't talking to her and that she is concerned about him, she might try contacting the Chaplain and just telling them about the situation. It might help HER to talk to someone closer and it might help HIM if the Chaplain makes an anonymous visit and its kept private.
Anyone been in this territory? Got advice I can give her?Do you know if this lady or her sons are/profess to be Christians? That impacts the prayer equation. They are
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Regular Joe
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Rigger82 (5/1/2007)
Born4Battle (5/1/2007)
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