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Regular Joe
Group: Community Supporter
Last Login: 2/14/2008 2:14 PM
Posts: 369,
Visits: 48
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Edited, full version at: http://www.armor.army.mil/center/ocoa/ArmorMag/downloads/1MurphysLaws02.pdf
Murphy's Laws of Armor
If all else fails, shoot at the big muzzle flashes — the big ones are the dangerous ones, the smaller ones are infantry. The infantry muzzle flashes you ignore are covering an anti-tank team setting up.
Close air support is safest from far away.
"GUNNER, SABOT, SNIPER" is not an appropriate use of ammunition.
Attempting to help recover a mired tank will only result in your tank becoming mired also.
Tanks are very easy to see unless you're dismounted and they're backing up.
Just after you report "Redcon 1" , you will realize that you desperately need to take a leak.
The fuel truck will run out of fuel just before he gets to your tank. You will run out of fuel before he returns.
Night vision devices will only fail at night. They will function perfectly once the sun rises.
The dirtier and more tired you are, the less appreciative you become of "constructive criticism" from somebody in a pristine uniform.
The heater on your tank will fail in October. The part to repair it will arrive in April.
The only times you will throw a track are: a. At night, b. in the rain, c. during the movement back to garrison, or d. one hour after you installed the new ones.
Tanks don't float.
If a supply sergeant is given a choice between death and going to the field with his unit,he will ask for a few minutes to "Think it over."
The primary purpose of an operations order is to ensure that all blame falls on the line units. For this reason, the staff will not publish an operations order until after the exercise is completed.
All infantry fighting vehicles don't look alike.
Proving that three feet of frontal armor protection will defend against any threat is probably best demonstrated on someone else's track.
Hearing an "Aw, shit" soon after an "on-the-waaay!" means you're probably not getting that promotion.
It is cruel to tell NBC types "Damn, that Fox looks like a BMP!" — particularly when live rounds are being issued.
If you are promised "downtime," what they really mean is: You will be breaking track.
First sergeant math: Buy Gatorade for $1.49 each and sell for $1.00 each — with the profits going to the unit fund.
Special thanks to SFC Mark Baker, whose "Private Murphy's Law" cartoon appears in Army Times.
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Seasoned Vet
 
Group: Past PNET Supporter
Last Login: 9/7/2005 7:22 PM
Posts: 6,666,
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quote:
If all else fails, shoot at the big muzzle flashes — the big ones are the dangerous ones, the smaller ones are infantry. The infantry muzzle flashes you ignore are covering an anti-tank team setting up.
Roger that! [LOL][LOL]
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Trooper
Group: Community Supporter
Last Login: 11/4/2007 1:54 PM
Posts: 660,
Visits: 266
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quote:
First sergeant math: Buy Gatorade for $1.49 each and sell for $1.00 each — with the profits going to the unit fund.
Hmmmmmmmm, so this is an example of First Sergeant math [V], well, the math I recalled using for troopers possessing such witty sayings, was demostrating their bunker building abilities in digging 6 by 6 by 6s in Area J. Real First Sergeant math is a truly wonderful thing. [thup]
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Regular Joe
Group: Community Supporter
Last Login: 2/14/2008 2:14 PM
Posts: 369,
Visits: 48
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Just a guess, they usually built them in the wrong place first, and had to move them?
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Trooper
Group: Community Supporter
Last Login: 11/4/2007 1:54 PM
Posts: 660,
Visits: 266
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Why, Garandman, you have defintite leadership and NCO potential and are moving up on my PLDC list.
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