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Cherry
Group: Banned Members
Last Login: 4/28/2005 4:15 PM
Posts: 24,
Visits: 379
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| OKay so my boyfriend has been home for almost a month...i havnt seen him bc he decided to come home in May, which is great its bee 5 months since ive seen him, he also left his cell phone at his friends house and cant get it back til atleast tomorrow he hopes. well he wont admit it, but i can tell he isn't the exact same person, and everytime i ask him to speak to me about what hes feeling he says nothing, for instance today, he watched a video of the hellicopter that went down and how the iraqis shot the only survivor. and he was just like: privatejoker743 (12:43:24 PM): I"M SOOOOOO FUCKINGGG PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW!
italianaboriqua (12:43:30 PM): why? privatejoker743 (12:44:21 PM): I just saw the video of the helicopter that got shot down
italianaboriqua (12:44:31 PM): the one from 3 weeks ago
italianaboriqua (12:44:41 PM): didnt like 18 soldiers die or sumthing?
privatejoker743 (12:44:45 PM): no
italianaboriqua (12:44:48 PM): or is this the recent one
privatejoker743 (12:44:54 PM): yea the recent one
italianaboriqua (12:45:01 PM): hapened last week rite
privatejoker743 (12:45:13 PM): the fucking iraqis shot the only surviver i dont kno how to deal with him, and i love him so much and i want to be there for him, and support him, i told him id support him no matter how much it hurt me, or wat he decided to do, id wait 4 him, ive fought with my family over this, we lost a baby...hes the 1, so i'd wait forever. i just need some help with what questions to ask and wat not to ask, wen i asked him if he wanted me to leave him alone he said no, so i duno. i wana be there 4 him but he wont let me!!!! thanx if anyone has any ideas and ways to help id really appreciate it.
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Ei Temporis Vita Semper Resumo Sese
Group: Moderators
Last Login: Yesterday @ 11:35 PM
Posts: 8,449,
Visits: 7,539
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| Kiddo, letting him know you love him and staying by his side is enough. Be there for him but don't push because that can have the opposite effect... when and if he's ready to talk about it than he will. It's been over a decade since I was last in combat and I still do not talk about certain things with my wife... doesn't mean I don't love and trust her at all, just that there are some things you can only understand if you have seen the elephant. p.s. there are several military spouses on here that have gone through what you are experiencing and they may have some better advice than me so don't be shy about asking them.
"The degenerative and loony should never be denigrated but, rather, thanked. In their absence, the rest of you would be obliged to fill congressional seats... positions naturally unsavory to the sane and honorable." Thorax
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Cherry
Group: Banned Members
Last Login: 4/28/2005 4:15 PM
Posts: 24,
Visits: 379
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Thank you, i appreciate it, and im gonna give him his space, i mean the whole not having his cell phone thing isnt bothering him bc hes not used to having, he went 5 months with out it, its no big deal, 4 him, ive heard his voice 1 time in 5 months for 5 minutes b4 he had funeral duty...rite after he got back from iraq and i was going crazy, i had no clue what was going on...he left his phone at his friends, 4 days i thought he was ignoring me, until his battle buddy...Sam Informed me that he was in wisconsin...and we have been fighting, well me not him hes too calm he said i was psychotic, but im goin thru alot and im trying to be there for him at the same time, i guess time can only help me out.
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HH6/Resident Beerwench
Group: Community Supporter
Last Login: Today @ 1:34 PM
Posts: 10,147,
Visits: 15,953
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The thing you need to do is give him his space. He will never tell you everything and you need to accept that. In fact, he may never mention anything to you at all. Men coming home from combat have different ways to express their confusion and hurt. They are torn between two worlds. The worse thing you can do is to pressure him or to whine to him about stuff going on in your life. Take that stress you are feeling and multiply it a million times and you will never be close to coming to what he is feeling. The more you push, the more he will push you away.
- "Hundreds of thousands of American servicemen and women are deployed across the world in the war on terror. By bringing hope to the oppressed, and delivering justice to the violent, they are making America more secure. "
George W. Bush
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