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Need a active duty Batt boy to confirm... Expand / Collapse
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Posted 2/5/2004 12:35 PM


President for Life

President for Life

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The below is an email I received from one of my best friends (former 1st Batt boy) The rumor is that Regiment no longer requires "High and Tights", but has relaxed its standard to reflect that of the rest of the Army.

YOU GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME.  ONCE AGAIN, THE ARMY OF ONE HAS WIPED IT'S ASS WITH TRADITION.

not that anyone really misses that haircut, but you know, it served several purposes:

* it let motherf%#kers know who you were
* it was great when you went down on your girlfriend (the stubble on the sides locked your head between her thighs)
* everytime you saw someone outside of regiment sporting it, you knew it was because they secretly wished they could be you
*  you could sleep later after a good drunk, you didn't have to wake up early to style your coiffure.
*  the rangerettes knew who to f#$k.
*  all foreigners were scared shitless of you. (goes back to the 1st one)
* it was cleaner, but hey, wait - that only applies when battalion actually like, went to the field, not like today where we swoop in, swoop out, and after a quick cappuccino, and an AAR with the D Boys, we've lost thirty minutes of gym time.
*  all the guys in regiment now are fucking monsters who are taught gracy ju jitsu.  we were like the wee little rangers compared to them.  haircut served as a recognition symbol when one of us bit off a little more than we could chew - (don't even think of saying' that ain't you, we've all done it), so that all the other f^&kers wearing the same do would come help you tune a motherf*^ker up.  
*  it was easy for the cops to figure out who the drunks were, headed back to south-side savannah from downtown.  2.3 seconds behind any car, and they could tell who had the do, and who was probably sober.
* we ran alot more then than these present day guys do. Aerodynamics were important on mile 9 of your second  12 mile run around perimeter rd that day.  
* modern rangers wear kevlars.  back to aerodynamics - with old haircut, back of k pot acts as spoiler, pushes the hooah towards the ground, slows 'em down.  we wore patrol caps, haircut made 'em like rudders.
*  blackhawk industries made a special "hair gel" and "coiffure adjuster (comb)" pouch an integral part of the new issue Ranger Assault Carrying Kit
system.  we just had LCE, 550 cord and 100mph tape.
*  basic cosmetology  course added  to  ranger school after "city week", as part of army's plan to provide civilian job relevant instruction to trained f%*king killers. SOP adapts accordingly.
*  the army was running out of ways to piss off it's last remaining hard old guys.  first they hand everyone a beret for showing up ... , then they make , like, halo school a fucking correspondence course... personally, i think the really old leg generals are still pissed off about how f*^king awesome batt boys looked when they were stealing their girlfriends or breaking in their wives while wearing  starched og 107s and spit shined green jungles ten years after the rest of the army couldn't wear them anymore.
*  back when being in regiment meant that you were a f&^king roadmarch god, you didn't want to carry the extra weight of those beautiful locks. (i think being in regiment still means you're a roadmarch god- these f&^kers are just bigger than we were)
*   old haircut didn't strengthen unit. new standards promote bonding. present day rangers are instructed on how to weave together the lengths of each other's hair in order to cross an obstacle, rappel down a cliff face, or prusik climb to the top of a building.  we just had to carry that heavy ass 120 ft sponge they called a rope instead.
*  your buddies could hold your head out of the toilet during a good
drunk,(or after you slept with some  600 pound, toothless blue hair with scabs and hair on her knuckles),with a small piece of soft side velcro back in the day.
*  two ranger bns are located in south georgia.  satan doesn't visit there because it's too f^*king hot.  




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Post #99495
Posted 2/10/2004 5:38 PM


Trooper

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This is true.  The reason being is that when deployed the Regiment was supposedly standing out with their haircuts.  Supposedly it is still pretty tight on hair and their is still no facial hair but the high and tight are gone.  I wonder if they were standing out because of their haircut or because they enforce standards and are above average soldiers.  Also they are the ones with the Ranger scroll and tab on their arm.  Or is it because they are the ones jumping behind enemy lines and killing the bad guys?  No, it must just be the hair cut that makes them different.  You can just see the Tan beret being taken away next because it look different.  Which was the point all along. 

Ranger2

 

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